I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
