i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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