wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
