I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
