I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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