he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.