Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.

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  (517): Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond. http://tfl.nu/hqwj
  Replies (15) Good night (623) Bad night (3155)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.

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  (843): I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/atu5
  Replies (16) Good night (5879) Bad night (661)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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  (678): Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans. http://tfl.nu/jpyk
  Replies (32) Good night (8669) Bad night (983)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.

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  (317): I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account. http://tfl.nu/ui6k
  Replies (21) Good night (6450) Bad night (1308)
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6549) Bad night (1331)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

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  (314): i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk. http://tfl.nu/227n
  Replies (11) Good night (4208) Bad night (947)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/w6f4
  Replies (19) Good night (756) Bad night (6735)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay

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  (513): He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay http://tfl.nu/cp59
  Replies (4) Good night (3511) Bad night (1129)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

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  (403): Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend http://tfl.nu/6ul7
  Replies (5) Good night (3850) Bad night (1016)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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  (484): No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone. http://tfl.nu/updb
  Replies (6) Good night (2642) Bad night (731)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker

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  (812): Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker http://tfl.nu/znwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (524)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (501) Bad night (524)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  (515): My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches." http://tfl.nu/3hga
  Replies (7) Good night (1958) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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  (+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0
  Replies (6) Good night (877) Bad night (355)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me

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  (479): I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me http://tfl.nu/cdlh
  Replies (7) Good night (963) Bad night (322)

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