I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So here I am, sexting at work.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
