I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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