We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
