i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
