he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
