can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
