Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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