At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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