New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Vodka?
Forever.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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