I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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