like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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