So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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