We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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