I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
