THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
