Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
