i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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