I must be too annoying 4 u.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
