fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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