were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
