I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
