...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
