his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
