If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
