I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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