C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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