Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
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I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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