No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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