i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
