No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
