We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
