We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
