Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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