i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize