This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize
