I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
