Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
