Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
