i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
