You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
