is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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