where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
