He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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