Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
