New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
