They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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