Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
