How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
