i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
