Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize