Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We left the knife in your bed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
