Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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