Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
