butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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