Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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