i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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