I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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