Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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