Pappa wants mamma naked
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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