Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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