And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
