Don't you send me to vm
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
