Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
