Pregnant stripper...not hot.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
